Nerdology 101: Finding Your Local Nerdom
Heyyyyyy! Welcome back to Nerdology 101, your home for everything nerdy. Whether your thing is books, gaming, anime, kink, or culture, I got you covered. Yup, I as in me, indie author Maria Levato, lover of all things nerdy. Today we’re going to talk a bit about finding your local nerdom. While we swarm on the internet, popping up in every corner, sometimes finding your fellow weirdos and freaks locally can be tough—especially if you live in a rural area! So, I wanted to take some time today to give you a few tips on how to find your people, wherever you are.
Places
Believe it or not, your local nerdom might be hanging out just under your nose. They probably gather at your local library, the nearest independent bookstore, cafes, and just about anywhere that offers community spaces. Even if you aren’t a reader, the local TTRPG players need somewhere to gather. Many libraries, bookstores, and community spaces have groups of players that come through. Some even host their own meet ups. You can find book clubs, gaming groups, and more at these kinds of spaces.
Events
Now, events is where it can get kinda interesting. Of course, you could try to find a local con in your niches, but there’s so many other options too. One big one a bunch of people look over are munches. We all know the kink community and the nerd community have strong crossovers. Go to FetLife and find munches. I repeat, MUNCHES. Watch where you’re clicking. A munch is a non-sex based meeting of the kink community—like a regular, everyday social event where kinksters can meet and get to know each other in a casual, vanilla way. If it’s labelled anything other than a munch, you might be getting into the kink part, which is perfectly fine, but I wanted to say it so you could determine what kind of meeting is best for your comfort level. I do recommend munches set in a public space too if you aren’t familiar with navigating the kink community. Anyway, if you’re at a munch, I promise you nerds are easy to find because 80% of the gathering is likely some kinda nerdy.
You can also look up renfaires. They’re another way to meet a ton of local nerds, a lot of whom will make really cool stuff. Ask them about whatever crazy/artsy/weird/nerdy thing they’re into and they’ll be your best friend until the day they die. This also works at LGBTQIA+ meetups, alt/goth bars and clubs, and even at community centers.
Other Options
Now, if you live in the middle of nowhere, it could still be hard to find events or spaces that attract nerds. I do live in a rural area, but there’s definitely more obscure places out there that might have less available. This is where the internet comes in. It sucks, but yup, use the internet to get off the internet. Dating apps usually come with a “looking for friends” option. Use it. We all hate dating apps, no matter what purpose we’re on them for. They’re horrible and sucky and draining. This is definitely something I recommend as a last resort, for if you try everything else and there’s just nothing.
To find the highest volume of nerds, include queer identities in your search, as well as your own gender. Of course, you’re bound to catch some people just looking for hookups in that net, but in all likelihood, if you’re struggling to find people, the other people like you are too, so they’re likely online searching for options. Your best bet is to use more common/popular apps, like Hinge, Bumble, etc. While the niche apps can be more appealing, they also have smaller user bases with less reach that aren’t very likely to exist in rural areas. Just apply strong filters and fill out your profile thoroughly. Stick to face photos, make sure you’re photo verified, use a lot of the character limit for your text answers and focus them on your more nerdy interests. It won’t be perfect, but it’ll be better than if you didn’t.
No matter what, please know you aren’t alone. It's hard not to feel isolated in today’s world. People from all walks of life do. It’s not in your head and it has nothing to do with who you are. Keep being your weird, unique self. Don’t let anyone convince you that things would be easier if you gave up the things that make you so special. They wouldn’t be. The “normal” people are still lonely, and they’re boring on top of being lonely, and that would really suck. So, patience to find the right people is better than losing yourself to find the wrong ones.
That’s about all I have for today. I hope you’ll swing by again next week for another segement of Nerdology 101 (every Friday at 3PM EST). Until then, have a nerdy week.
