Nerdology 101: Fictional Crushes

Heyyyyy! How are all my nerdy peoples? If you’re new here, welcome! This is Nerdology 101 and I’m your resident nerd, Maria Levato. This week I wanted to dive into the topic of fictional crushes (from my experience, every nerd has them. No need to be shy about it). I’ll be sharing a few of my own, but also discussing them in a more broad sense. With that being said, why don’t we get started with some NERDOLOGYYYY?

Experiencing a romantic or sexual attraction to a fictional character is a pretty common occurence. From the “Hear me out” cakes on social media to the existence of BookTok/Bookstagram/Booksky a lot of people have come to terms with that fact. In fact, many of us have built entire communities around our fictional crushes. This phenomenon has been around much longer than these communities, though. Back in the ancient time of the millenial, those of us who embraced fictophilia were often outcasts and it was hard to find people who could relate. Do you know what I would have given as a kid to know I wasn’t the only one waking up at 5AM to watch Inuyasha because I had a crush on Sesshomaru… and Inuyasha… and Koga…? (I don’t have a problem, I don’t have a problem). Nowadays, though, my list of fictional crushes extends beyond anime and other cartoon characters. Characters from books such as Nikolai Sokolov and Rayne have also taken me by storm.

So, why do so many of us experience this attraction to fictional characters so intensely? It’s simple, really. Knowing they’re not real doesn’t change the fact that they fulfill a real need. The need is often for safe spaces to experience romance, partners who are emotionally open to us, and sometimes even to explore fantasies we can’t safely explore irl for one reason or another. In most cases, this is healthy and can have a positive impact in helping people better define their needs in a human-to-human romance. People who don’t know what they’re looking for tend to end up in bad relationships. These fictional crushes can help us to better understand ourselves, what we’re looking for, and learn how to communicate that to a potential partner. What many view as a form of escapism, I view as a potentially theraputic outlet for exploring ourselves and our desires.

Now that I’ve said as much, let’s talk about my top fictional crushes from each of my nerdy realms:

1. Anime - Vanitas and Noe (The Case Study of Vanitas)

   Yes, I count them as ONE fictional crush because I wouldn’t want to be with one unless the other was also present. While they’re both hot and I acknowledge some part of this has to do with an MMF fantasy, they also fulfill different needs. Vanitas is passionate, wild, obsessive, and capable of embracing my particular brand of insanity. He’d be the perfect partner for the enemies-to-lovers, banter-y arguing part of my desires. Noe, on the otherhand, is sweet, affectionate, and loyal above all else. I’d find that fulfilling in the moments that I just wanna curl up and cuddle. I can totally picture him letting me lay my head in his lap and read a book without interrupting me—just being glad to have me close. Together, they make a perfect boyfriend.

2. Gaming - Kaeya (Genshin Impact)

   Kaeya has a flirty nature, relaxed vibe, and a bit of a mysterious element while also remaining a safe guy. I think he has broad appeal that most people who’re attracted to men can get into. It’s easy to consider him my top gaming crush.

3. Books - Samkiel (Gods and Monsters by Amber V. Nicole)

   Samkiel is ideal in pretty much every aspect. I’d have zero complaints. If I listed every aspect of him that I love, this blog post would never go up because I’d likely spend the rest of my life completing that list.

4. Special Mention: Atem (Yu-Gi-Oh)

   What do you mean he’s an ancient Egyptian pharoah with a tiny ball of fur that can take out Blue-Eyes White Dragon?! Of course I love him. Lol.

   Anyway, who are your top fictional crushes? Let me know. As always, I’ll be back next Friday at 3PM EST for the next segment of Nerdology 101. Until then, have a nerdy week!

Nerdology 101: The “Smut” Convo

This blog post is not recommended for anyone under the age of 18. If you’re a minor, please check with a parent or guardian before proceeding.

We’reeee backkkk! Welcome to Nerdology 101. I’m your host, Maria Levato. This week we’re going to talk about the word smut. I’m not going to waste any time getting into it because this is already going to be a rant. So, let’s get into some Nerdology!

If you read this blog, my books, or my social media content, it’s probably no suprise to you that I love smutty books. I love reading them, writing for them, and today I love advocating for them because by now we’ve all seen the shift start to happen.

I’m going to say this loud and fucking clear: There’s nothing wrong with sex. Sex is normal. It’s healthy. It’s enjoyable. Therefore, there is nothing unclean, shameful, embarrassing, or wrong about reading smut. It’s a book. The fact that sex happens in a book doesn’t reflect whatsoever on its literary value or relavance. In fact, it adds value in the sense that it highlights ideas that push forward social movements such as sex positivity, feminism, and LGBTQIA+ rights—all of which I stand by firmly.

The word smut, in this context, is one the bookish community used to refer to these books when BookTok, Bookstagram, and other bookish social media tags started becoming more popular. It was used primarily as an inside joke that brought joy to the community. Anyone who has actually read these books is unlikely to see them as simply being pornography. Recently, however, we’ve started to see a rise in people who are using the word smut to diminish the books, the people who read them, and the people who write them. As such, the language has started to change. I’ve seen more and more people beginning to avoid the word smut altogether. In leiu of it, they’re leaning towards softer, less direct options like spice—which has been used for a while, but not in the way that it’s happening now where it’s being used to avoid stigmatization. With that being the case, many have begun to debate which words should and should not be used. In this post, I’m going to give my thoughts on why we shouldn’t let go of the word smut or otherwise soften our language.

1. What message are we sending?

   When we communicate, word choice matters. That’s why an author will some times spend hours searching for that perfect word. When I stop and ask myself what message we are sending with our word choices regarding sexual content in books, here’s what comes to my mind (I cannot speak for everyone. I’m giving my perspective and that’s all.):

   “I read smutty books.” - I confidently read sexual material with the critical engagement necessary to understand that books containing it often offer great stories, diverse voices, powerful social commentary, and that the act of reading it is a form of empowerment that affirms for me that my pleasure, autonomy, and needs matter both in and outside of the bed.

   “I read spicy books.” - This does NOT automatically imply that the person speaking doesn’t feel the same way as the one who says they read smut. It does however require more thought. In the bookish community, I’ve never seen anyone use a smut scale because of the implications behind the word, but spice scales are frequently used. The translations of these scales often vary widely. For one reader, Fourth Wing may be the spiciest book they’ve ever read. For another reader, it could be a one or a two on a scale of one to five. I think that matters because it means using the word spice allows a massive amount of interpretation that can lead to some misunderstandings. So, by using the word, you’re allowing the other person to judge your meaning based on their scale. Because of this broadness, the message you’re sending with your word choice is less clear. I can’t tell based on the sentence alone if this person is quietly capitulating to purity culture or if they are loudly and intentionally rebelling against it in their own way. Thus, I have to assume someone who loudly and intentionally perpetuates purity culture would be pleased by this because it leaves room for them to twist things in a way that may or may not align with the intention of the person saying it. I can see people using this type of soft language to make it seem like “Oh, so this is something you know you should be ashamed of” even though that argument is easily dismantled by anyone with a critical thinking skills. The danger of it, though, is that not everyone has critical thinking skills. Moreover, the crazies would rather not think critically if what’s being said inflates their false sense of superiority and makes them look justified in their oppression.

2. Infantilization

   We’re fucking adults. It is insane to me that a bunch of adults cannot speak about sexual content in a direct way. The softening of the language is reminiscent of arguing on a playground about who has cooties. This probably has a lot to do with censorship on social media platforms as well, but it has a real impact. This soft language and avoidance reaffirms stereotypes (particularly when it comes to women). It allows people to imply shame, lack of assertiveness, indecisiveness, innocence and corruption in accordance with whatever arbitrary standard they so choose, and other harmful ideas that make it sound like we’re unable to think and act of our own free will. Men talk about sex amoungst themselves. The fact that its considered problematic for women to do the same in regards to books often written with women in mind is a symptom of misogyny and the infantilization that comes with it.

3. Content

   Changing the language we use to discuss content could result in a change the content itself. I love these smutty books and a lot of you do too. So, let’s talk about how erasure of the word smut could lead to erasure of the content. Censorship is a tricky thing. It usually doesn’t start by saying “this type of language is banned”. Outright attacks on words like that are more likely to meet resistance. Convincing people to self-censor is a much easier thing to do, especially on social media platforms because it rewards self-censorship with reach, which leads to engagement, and to sales that a lot of bookish accounts might be depending on for their income. While I acknowledge how difficult it might be for people to cope with this loss of income, I’d argue that the benefit outweighs the cost. If we will self-censor on social media, we’ll eventually self-censor in other ways when that push for it expands. Bookstores and readers may eventually start to move away from carrying smut, which will push publishers away from publishing it, then agents away from representing it, and in the end push writers away from writing it. Even self-published authors have to consider the market and what will sell, it could even result in less smut being available from us too. The issue is bigger than one word. If we allow that word to be erased, we invite them to push for more.

   The impact of it could substantially setback conversations around sex positivity and feminism as I’ve addressed, but it could also setback conversations around LGBTQIA+ rights. I know recently there’s been a lot of conversation around straight women writing MM, but that’s the point—There’s conversation. Representation leads to conversation. Conversation leads to increased understanding of the communities perspective. Increased understanding leads to better representation. I read a fair amount of LGBTQIA+ books written by LGBTQIA+ authors, but I never would have found most of them if I hadn’t been reading smutty MM written by straight women that were already popularized. While I do agree that books by LGBTQIA+ authors should be the priority in LGBTQIA+ genres AND that staight people who write LGBTQIA+ stories need to do better, I think the point stands that without popular smut, I would know less LGBTQIA+ authors and that these conversations about what good representation and allyship look like wouldn’t be happening.

With all of that being said, I will continue to use the word smut because I think the benefits of it are worth protecting. That’s my two cents on this discourse and I hope it helps readers and writers alike think more about the language we’re using and decide for themselves what language they want to use.

Let me know in the comments what your thoughts are! See you back next week for the next segment of Nerdology 101. Until then, have a nerdy week!

Nerdology 101: Fall of Freedom

Welcome back to Nerdology 101! I’m Maria, your fellow nerd, reporting from my desk as I cling desperately to my coffee (one of my cats is after it).

This week, I wanted to talk about the Fall of Freedom movement. If you don’t know what that is or why it matters, you’re in the right place.

The Issue:

Censorship is on the rise across America. According to the American Library Association (ALA), 2,452 different books were targeted for censorship in 2024. That’s a lot of books for a country that claims to free speech as one of its core values. These attacks will only increase as many continue pour fuel on the fire that leads to them. What’s so bad that they don’t want us to read it? Well, if the ALA’s 10 Most Challenged List is any indication, anything written about women’s issues, LGBTQIA+ issues, anti-authoritarism, or racial issues. As with anything, these challenges disproportionally target members of marginalized communities.

Beyond banned books, we’ve seen it in other aspects of life as well. Social media is another example. The censoring of certain language, particularly in a way that softens it (I.E. killed turned into unalived, rape turned into graped, pedophile turned into PDFile, protest turned into music festival.), has grown into a common phenomenon. There’s a danger in that. When we soften the language we’re using to describe such weighy subjects, we start participating in our own censorship and downplaying the seriousness of real issues.

Don’t think for a second this doesn’t apply to you too, anime and gaming lovers. Where do you suppose anime’s like One Piece, featuring powerful anti-government themes, are going to be accessible if speech in disagreement with authoritarian policies continues to be censored? Nerds are just as much a part of this as the rest of us. We’re a community that thrives on living outside of the normal social practices, oftentimes embrassing alternative lifestyles, hobbies, and interests. Censorship is a dangerous road and one that we’ve seen play out many times in media both media and history.

The Movement:

What Fall of Freedom is doing is putting out an urgent call to a community with a long history of getting louder when told to shut up. The artists, the writers, the creatives, and the nerds. They want the anime-loving painter making fan art and the aspiring writer who barely has a platform to speak out against this censorship alongside more prominent names. That’s what this movement is about. Together, we will use our voices through our chosen mediums to let those who target our passions know we will not be silenced.

What Can I do?

The answer to that lies in your creativity and knowledge. Authenticity is key in this movement because our point is that authentic, diverse, and yes—critical—voices matter. Whether you host a reading of a banned book, post on social media, paint or design an image of what censorship looks like—what erasure feels like—it matters. Express yourselves and be sure to put Fall of Freedom’s logo on it so everyone knows you stand with the other creatives who are expressing themselves. Your voice matters and I’m looking forward to watching as they sound off in solidarity with this movement.

Will that even work?

You may ask yourself why this plan would work? Because it always has. The Dark Ages didn’t end because the powers that be decided to stop censoring artists; The Dark Ages ended because artists decided not to comply. Anti-war art during the Vietnam War is another great example here. The unpopularity of that war wouldn’t have been nearly as widespread if not for journalists, artists, writers, and people who were willing to help the masses see and understand what the atrocities truly felt and looked like. Art has always been a match unhesitant to ignite change. That’s why all throughout history oppressive powers have sought to silence creatives. It’s the demonization of the Gaelic language and it’s literature. It’s the books the Nazi’s burned. It’s the information hidden in South Africa during Aparthied. It’s the Indigenous stories that were dragged from their ancestral homes and forced onto reservations with the people meant to tell them. Writers and artists of all kinds have always been able to create change. Those in power wouldn’t be attacking us if we weren’t a threat to their power.

We must once again take our stand against censorship with Fall of Freedom’s movement and beyond. Every voice matters and I encourage you to use yours. No effort is too small or too big. Share a post, make a post, write a poem or a blog, go to an event, host an event—it doesn’t matter what you do as long as you speak up. Fall of Freedom’s webite provides more information as well.

Don’t forget to comment and let me know how you decide to use your voice. I’ll see you back next Friday at 3PM ET for the next segment of Nerdology 101. Have a nerdy week!

The Authors Guild is supporting this movement. Visit their website for more information on how they are standing up against censorship.